


Evil Big Damn Genius

by AbbyBanks



Category: DCU - Superdictionary
Genre: Community: fortycakes, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyBanks/pseuds/AbbyBanks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex wants some dessert. He wants a sweet course to follow his meal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evil Big Damn Genius

[](http://s357.photobucket.com/user/abbybanks_bucket/media/lexluthorcakes.jpg.html)

Lex wants some **dessert**. He wants a sweet course to follow his meal. Because he is an evil genius he doesn't want to get his just **desserts**. He doesn't want to receive a punishment which fits his crimes.

He makes a cunning **plan**. He makes up a way to carry out his deeds. He looks at the floor **plan** of his local bakery, and **plans** a way to get into the building. He looks at a map of the inside of the building and decides on a method of getting into it. His plan involves a nuclear weapon, a group of robot henchmen, and **seventeen** winged monkeys. That's as many as three sixes minus one. Or two eights plus one. Or three fives plus two. Or...

Lex decides to use twenty monkeys instead. That's as many as two tens, and much easier to work out.

Because he is an evil genius, he **sows the seeds of his own destruction**. He takes Superman hostage first, and tells him the details of his scheme in intricate detail, including the weak points that Superman can later exploit in an ironic twist to events. Then he leaves to carry out his plan.

When he arrives at the bakery with the henchmen, the monkeys, and the nuclear weapon, he sees that a **delivery van** is waiting outside. A vehicle which brings goods to the store is waiting outside. As he watches, the driver of the van gets out and goes to talk to the security guard, whose attention is distracted.

Lex can see that the back door of the van is **unlocked**. The door has not been secured. He looks at the robot henchmen and the winged monkeys, and they look back at him.

"Fuck it," says Lex. He opens the van door, grabs one of the cake-filled trolleys, and runs for it.

When Superman arrives, he finds the monkeys and henchmen still sitting there waiting. The delivery driver isn't worried.

"It's only **forty** cakes," he tells Superman. "That's only as many as four tens. We get through as many as a hundred tens every day. So get some perspective, okay? Shouldn't you be saving the world or something? We're insured for cake theft."

Superman **sulks**. He demonstrates ill-temper by being silent and sullen. Lois only puts out when he has been brave and clever and heroic, so he won't be getting any tonight.

And that's terrible.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Forty Cakes](http://fortycakes.livejournal.com) community on LJ.


End file.
